|
|
04-03-2007, 12:09 PM | #1 |
Advanced Member
|
Ever Wonder........................
EVER WONDER ~~~~ Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?) On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how??...) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion.) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down (well...duh, a bit late, huh!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????..) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and... I'm taking this because???....) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
__________________
I would rather be hated for what I am than loved for what I'm not.! |
04-03-2007, 01:25 PM | #2 | |
SBLive! Veteran
|
Quote:
Also, if a psychic began distributing the winning numbers, what would be the point? Every person would have to split the winnings. That's another reason to keep it to yourself. And finally, psychic ability works on a basis of sensing and interpretting subtle energy impressions. These impressions come from anything that emits any kind of subtle life force (people or things recently touched by people). The machine that draws the winning numbers does not emit such impressions. The only impressions it can emit are about the people who recently touched the machine and not of the machine itself. The only way to predict a machine's outcome is by obtaining your impressions from the other side (whatever you wish to call it), where the laws of time do not apply. This is a very rare and indirect means of psychic prediction (guardian angel type stuff). In short, these reason are why you never see such headlines. Funny stuff, by the way! |
|
04-03-2007, 01:42 PM | #3 |
SBLive! Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,606
Rep Power: 264
|
Also consider the fact that 100% of psychics are either pretending or crazy since there is no such things as psychic powers.
|
04-03-2007, 01:52 PM | #4 | |
SBLive! Veteran
|
Quote:
|
|
04-03-2007, 03:36 PM | #5 | |
SBLive! Veteran
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 2,834
Rep Power: 299
|
Quote:
Haven't you ever witnessed a psychic event for yourself Joe? Read your wifes mind? I think that nearly everyone has some degree of psychic ability but never develop it for one reason or another. In fact, I'm reading your mind right now Joepole! You are thinking........."Bullsh!t"! See? It works!! |
|
04-03-2007, 04:13 PM | #6 |
SBLive! Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,606
Rep Power: 264
|
There has never in the course of human history been a single properly conducted, scientifically proper, peer-reviewed study that confirmed the existence of extra sensory perception.
|
04-03-2007, 04:31 PM | #7 |
SBLive! Veteran
|
No one saw the apple hit Sir Isaac Newton on the head, but no one is doubting gravity.
|
04-04-2007, 03:14 PM | #8 | |
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 18
Rep Power: 0
|
Quote:
________ Digital vaporizer Last edited by FACT; 04-24-2011 at 01:02 AM. |
|
04-04-2007, 03:12 PM | #9 | |
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 18
Rep Power: 0
|
Quote:
________ LovelyWendie Last edited by FACT; 04-24-2011 at 01:02 AM. |
|
04-04-2007, 03:15 PM | #10 |
SBLive! Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,606
Rep Power: 264
|
For the same reason I know magic and wizardry and other made-up things are made-up.
|
04-04-2007, 03:15 PM | #11 |
SBLive! Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,606
Rep Power: 264
|
How exactly does one prove a negative in this context?
|
04-04-2007, 04:05 PM | #12 | |
SBLive! Veteran
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 2,834
Rep Power: 299
|
Quote:
|
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | |
|
|