Schoolyard Bullies

purpahurl · 12-08-2007, 01:15 AM

Any body out there had any experience with Trouble from other kids influencing there children in a negative way?

My 5 year old has said some things he did not here at home. He has also been threatened by some 6 year old punk. My next door neighbors son is in the same situation. There is more to this than I am posting. I will deal with this Monday!

Just wanted some feedback.

howela · 12-08-2007, 12:17 PM

Schools have counselors that know how to handle these issues without putting your child at risk.
Contact your child's school for help.

Pocahontas · 12-08-2007, 02:28 PM

I agree with Howela also make sure your child's teacher and the bully's teacher are both aware of the situation. Is he bullying everyone or just your child? Hopefully the teachers can nip it in the bud without you having to get involved with the bully's parents. Those situations become worse when parent goes against parent. Unfortunately they are going to pick up foul language no matter what.
Just make sure when he uses it around you, you explain that it is inappropriate.

joepole · 12-08-2007, 03:53 PM

Schools generally have counselors that don't the difference between their a$$es and holes in the ground. Notify them to prevent any lawsuits but under no circumstances rely on them for any useful service.

rhertz · 12-08-2007, 07:48 PM

My take on this is a little different. The school isn't always 'On Your Side'.. We had a similar situation and after about 5+ years when enough complaints from multiple parents accumulated, and the picture was crystal-clear, the offending child was not invited back to attend the following year. The school need to protect themselves "beyond a reasonable doubt".

The following year was a really good year for a dozen or so students. It only take once bad apple to affect the whole bushel. Be diligent and stay the course and *eventually* you will come out on top.

Morpheus · 12-08-2007, 09:25 PM

I don't know if you already have a solution in mind, but here are what some other people are saying and or doing:

http://www.bridges4kids.org/SC.html

Personally, I think you should let your son figure this one out on his own. I know it probably will be an unpopular opinion, but it's a lesson that has to be learned (how to deal with bullies) and it's best to learn it now when the stakes are much smaller. Things get much more complicated in adolescence, or even college, and the stakes are much higher.

purpahurl · 12-09-2007, 10:45 PM

This actually is not at school, it is after school. I found out this weekend that I'm not the only parent that has a problem with this kid. As for letting my son figure it out, he has already gotten in trouble for "taking care of it", I couldn't get too mad at him.

It will be handled in cordial and unprovacative way.

Thanks for the input

Morpheus · 12-09-2007, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by purpahurl

This actually is not at school, it is after school. I found out this weekend that I'm not the only parent that has a problem with this kid. As for letting my son figure it out, he has already gotten in trouble for "taking care of it", I couldn't get too mad at him.

It will be handled in cordial and unprovacative way.

Thanks for the input

Good luck.

LateNight · 12-10-2007, 12:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by purpahurl

This actually is not at school, it is after school. I found out this weekend that I'm not the only parent that has a problem with this kid. As for letting my son figure it out, he has already gotten in trouble for "taking care of it", I couldn't get too mad at him.

It will be handled in cordial and unprovacative way.

Thanks for the input

Neither one of my boys.. are violent.. anything but. And they don't go looking for trouble.. but both of them have gotten into trouble.. because they refuse to stand there and take abuse from someone. Both times according to the 'story' from witnesses of what happened, they did not start what happened... and both times the kids who DID start it were much bigger than my boys.. so as I dad.. how the heck can I get mad at them for standing up to some idiot who's going to start something ?

At Northwood, kids get suspended for simply being on the receiving end of a punch, regardless if they fight back or not.. if you are "IN" a fight, everyone gets suspended. not sure what kind of lesson that is meant to teach ??

Isaac-Saxxon · 12-10-2007, 08:23 AM

You could always have your lawyer contact the parents of the trouble making child and see if he can get through to them. Is the bullie older than your child ? I feel like this could be George Bush's fault.

joepole · 12-10-2007, 09:30 AM

You could also try beating up the kid yourself. I assume you're much bigger than he is. Remember: violence leads to less violence.

Morpheus · 12-10-2007, 11:17 AM

More sound advice Joe. I'm sure it's a comfort for Mrs. Joepole to know that wee Joepole and Joepolette won't have to worry about any bullies as long as Daddy Joepole is around.

Texasbelle · 12-10-2007, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LateNight

Neither one of my boys.. are violent.. anything but. And they don't go looking for trouble.. but both of them have gotten into trouble.. because they refuse to stand there and take abuse from someone. Both times according to the 'story' from witnesses of what happened, they did not start what happened... and both times the kids who DID start it were much bigger than my boys.. so as I dad.. how the heck can I get mad at them for standing up to some idiot who's going to start something ?

At Northwood, kids get suspended for simply being on the receiving end of a punch, regardless if they fight back or not.. if you are "IN" a fight, everyone gets suspended. not sure what kind of lesson that is meant to teach ??

This is/was the policy even at Evangel when my oldest son was in eighth grade. He got suspended for being hit in the locker room by a kid who had been bullying him all year. The kid who hit him, a crucial football player, did not immediately get suspended until we raised all kinds of he!!.

Our experience with bullying is to stay on top of it with the school because if it is happening outside of school it is going on at school as well maybe just in a more subtle fashion. Also, if the parents are reasonable, they must be dealt with and informed of their child's actions. Often times we don't realize what are "precious" children have been doing until informed.

rhertz · 12-10-2007, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texasbelle

Our experience with bullying is to stay on top of it with the school

I think this is the best advice. We normally don't take up much of the principal's time most years, if any at all. But if our child is being constantly picked on, then we make sure we do our duty and keep the school informed. During these years, we are "high maintenance" and schedule a lot of meetings, which not only puts the school on notice, but gives the principal some incentive to solve the problem for good, so he can get back to whatever it is he normally does with his time. The wheel that squeeks definitely gets the most oil....

purpahurl · 12-10-2007, 01:56 PM

It is dealt with!

12-08-2007, 01:15 AM	#1
purpahurl Advanced Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: shreveport Posts: 377 Rep Power: 230	Schoolyard Bullies Any body out there had any experience with Trouble from other kids influencing there children in a negative way? My 5 year old has said some things he did not here at home. He has also been threatened by some 6 year old punk. My next door neighbors son is in the same situation. There is more to this than I am posting. I will deal with this Monday! Just wanted some feedback.

12-08-2007, 02:28 PM	#3
Pocahontas SBLive! Veteran Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,691 Rep Power: 279	I agree with Howela also make sure your child's teacher and the bully's teacher are both aware of the situation. Is he bullying everyone or just your child? Hopefully the teachers can nip it in the bud without you having to get involved with the bully's parents. Those situations become worse when parent goes against parent. Unfortunately they are going to pick up foul language no matter what. Just make sure when he uses it around you, you explain that it is inappropriate. __________________ "The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain." Jennifer Aniston

12-10-2007, 08:23 AM	#10
Isaac-Saxxon SBLive! Veteran Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 4,421 Rep Power: 324	You could always have your lawyer contact the parents of the trouble making child and see if he can get through to them. Is the bullie older than your child ? I feel like this could be George Bush's fault. __________________ Maranatha Mat 7:14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.

12-08-2007, 12:17 PM	#2
howela Advanced Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Port Royal Posts: 288 Rep Power: 226	Schools have counselors that know how to handle these issues without putting your child at risk. Contact your child's school for help.

12-08-2007, 03:53 PM	#4
joepole SBLive! Veteran Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,606 Rep Power: 265	Schools generally have counselors that don't the difference between their a$$es and holes in the ground. Notify them to prevent any lawsuits but under no circumstances rely on them for any useful service.

12-08-2007, 07:48 PM	#5
rhertz SBLive! Veteran Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 2,834 Rep Power: 301	My take on this is a little different. The school isn't always 'On Your Side'.. We had a similar situation and after about 5+ years when enough complaints from multiple parents accumulated, and the picture was crystal-clear, the offending child was not invited back to attend the following year. The school need to protect themselves "beyond a reasonable doubt". The following year was a really good year for a dozen or so students. It only take once bad apple to affect the whole bushel. Be diligent and stay the course and eventually you will come out on top.

12-08-2007, 09:25 PM	#6
Morpheus Advanced Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 499 Rep Power: 231	I don't know if you already have a solution in mind, but here are what some other people are saying and or doing: http://www.bridges4kids.org/SC.html Personally, I think you should let your son figure this one out on his own. I know it probably will be an unpopular opinion, but it's a lesson that has to be learned (how to deal with bullies) and it's best to learn it now when the stakes are much smaller. Things get much more complicated in adolescence, or even college, and the stakes are much higher.

12-09-2007, 10:45 PM	#7
purpahurl Advanced Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: shreveport Posts: 377 Rep Power: 230	This actually is not at school, it is after school. I found out this weekend that I'm not the only parent that has a problem with this kid. As for letting my son figure it out, he has already gotten in trouble for "taking care of it", I couldn't get too mad at him. It will be handled in cordial and unprovacative way. Thanks for the input

12-10-2007, 09:30 AM	#11
joepole SBLive! Veteran Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,606 Rep Power: 265	You could also try beating up the kid yourself. I assume you're much bigger than he is. Remember: violence leads to less violence.

12-10-2007, 11:17 AM	#12
Morpheus Advanced Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 499 Rep Power: 231	More sound advice Joe. I'm sure it's a comfort for Mrs. Joepole to know that wee Joepole and Joepolette won't have to worry about any bullies as long as Daddy Joepole is around.

12-10-2007, 01:56 PM	#15
purpahurl Advanced Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: shreveport Posts: 377 Rep Power: 230	It is dealt with!

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